the real life

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Posts by the real life

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  34

  would there be any reason for you to attend another church?

  by highdose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't mean go back to a kingdom hall, i mean other religons any of them.

  can anybody think of a reason that they might do this?.

  i', begining to feel curious about the church up my road, just curious, thought about popping in there one sunday, i will probably run out screaming 5 mins later but there you are....

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  the real life

  Zarco - Yosemite, forests, and ocean are the best churches :)

  I'm thinking about going to mass in the Notre Dame just because I think it's really beautiful to hear the monks and nuns sing.
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  32

  Are you an 'Ex Witness' or just you?

  by creativhoney in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just wondered how people feel about this?

  - do some only mix with other ex witnesses a couple of my friends, and it seems that by definition, they are 'ex witnesses' almost like a religion in itself.

  - i would never define myself as an 'ex employee of xxx' as you leave it behind it doesnt define you.

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  the real life

  I hadn't really thought of myself as being an ex-JW until I started reading these boards. It's only been a couple of years since I've been out of the organization, but only recently have I given more thought to how it affected me. I don't have any friends in my immediate circle who are ex-JWs. I have a couple of family members on their way out and a couple of good friends that are ex witnesses, but I don't see them very often since we live in different countries now.

  I think it's important, like you said, to focus on what you are now and not what you were. Sometimes I feel like reading the boards can be a little depressing, because I start focusing on a lot of the negatives of my past. On the other hand, it can be good to analyze some of those things and to share experiences. I think talking about being a former witness is both helpful and harmful. It all depends on the stage you're going through on your way out. Some people who are still really struggling with carving out their new identity definitely need the support. I guess sometimes I still fall into that category :)

  Best,

  The Real Life
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  32

  18-Year Relationship Ended Today...

  by jamiebowers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...when i had my dear old cat, puss puss put down this morning.

  i had her for 18 years.

  last night i bathed her and used the blow dryer and brush on her matted fur, and she didn't even try to fight me.

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  the real life

  :(

  Hugs to you.

  I miss my kitty cat too
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  5

  Witness girl in the metro

  by the real life in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this morning on my way to work, i saw a girl reading a new world translation in the metro.

  i live in paris and i don't see witnesses very often, except occasionally holding out magazines in the street looking grumpy.. i had the urge to talk to her.

  my reaction is different every time i see witnesses.

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  the real life

  This morning on my way to work, I saw a girl reading a New World Translation in the metro. I live in Paris and I don't see witnesses very often, except occasionally holding out magazines in the street looking grumpy.

  I had the urge to talk to her. My reaction is different every time I see witnesses. Usually I'm just curious, sometimes I feel angry and want to yell at them, sometimes I feel sad. Today I kind of wanted to tell this random girl that I used to be a witness, simply because it's interesting to have something in common with a stranger. I imagined all the possible scenarios. She insists on getting my contact information and people start hunting me down trying to see if I'm still interested...or she thinks I'm creepy and wonders what horrible life I must be living now. It made me a little sad to see her today. I kind of saw her as safe, protected, and naive. And I didn't feel like breaking that bubble.

  I know I could never go back to being a witness. I simply don't believe in the doctrines or way of life (some of which are not just incorrect, but harmful), and I refuse to be insincere. But sometimes I miss living in a bubble with lots of easy answers and clear plans.

  Decisions get a lot more complicated when you are actually making them :)
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  44

  JW mother makes sick video.....comments please.

  by koolaid-man in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyakn5ediju&feature=email.

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  the real life

  Ahhhh!!! So disturbing.
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  41

  Another Elder Suicide?

  by still_in74 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well it looks like a southern ontario elder just took his own life.

  i cant go into details as we live in a very small world in "the truth" and even the smallest amount of detail on this one could quickly connect this to me, so for now its on the d-low.. it is a relative of a very close friend and he is godsmacked by it.

  he said to me, " we sure seem to be seeing more of this lately arent we?

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  the real life

  Thanks for your post, Flipper :)
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  6

  A little happy news about my Mom

  by finding my way in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mom who has shunned me off and on for 4 years had decided about a month and a half ago to fully shun me.

  no responses to e-mails or anything.

  it's rough, but i've been dealing with it.. i know she loves me and thinks she's doing the right thing.

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  the real life

  Good news! :) I say keep keeping her up to date on your life and maybe eventually your conversations will open up so that you can have a positive influence on her as well.
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  59

  Do you regret confessing your sins to the elders?

  by asilentone in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yes, i do!

  i did it 20 years ago, but the elders still remember what i did, sometimes i wish they never knew about it.

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  the real life

  Absolutely. I think it was one of the worst experiences of my life. I thought I was doing the right thing, as we all did, but it was a huge mistake. I was reproved, and really probably should have been disfellowshipped because I wasn't sincere in being "repentant". It took me years to fully understand why I had made the choices I made, so being put in a situation where you are expected to demonstrate some kind of clear understanding of your reasoning and a course of immediate action isn't very natural. Talking about it with people who cared about my well-being was helpful to me in other settings, but the "back room" setting is nothing but noxious.

  I was confessing adultery, and they asked that my husband be present since he was the spiritual "head". I think divulging the details of adultery in front of the victim is horrendous and I'll never understand why they thought that would be beneficial for anyone. I think this confession business hurt my ex-husband far more permanently than it hurt me. And I also think that certain elders have a prurient interest in the details, which is disgusting.

  It's another case where uneducated men with little life experience are serving where trained professionals (or at least someone who actually cares for you) ought to be.
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  12

  Who left the Borg in 2007

  by WT=watchtrouble in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just curious to see who else left in the same year as me.

  and how are things for you now.. it has been 2 1/2 years since i left and damn time has gone fast.

  i now have heaps of fun.

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  the real life

  I left in 2007. I was just trying to figure that out, in fact, because I wasn't sure how long I'd been out. Since yesterday was Halloween, I counted the Halloweens I could remember where friends of mine had parties, etc., which took me back to 2007.

  Life has been really good ever since. Lots of ups and downs, of course, since leaving involves huge life changes. But my goal was to "become who I really am" Nietzsche-style (Embrace life. Become fully human by stretching yourself to become all you were meant to be. Make a difference in the world. It is life affirmation, not stale analysis of it, that gives it meaning.)

  I've been able to experience things I always wanted to experience (living abroad, working on my music, learning more about myself and others, finding a career path that works well with my skills and lifestyle, etc.)

  I'm grateful for the opportunities I've had and I am excited for anyone who leaves and opens themselves up to all the possibilities that come with really living.
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  16

  Should I Formally Apologize?

  by lifelong humanist in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what do you members think - is there any mileage in 'formally' apologizing to my 4 sons (now aged 20 - 34) of my stupid jw indoctrination during their formative years?

  i still have pangs of guilt.

  yet, on balance, i have to admit that it couldn't have been too damaging as they are all totally out of the cult.

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  the real life

  Don't blame yourself or feel guilty. That doesn't do anyone any good.

  I was raised in and I don't have any anger toward my parents about it. They did their best in raising me and they had their reasons for being attracted to the religion at certain times due to very specific circumstances.

  If all your kids are out now, you must have managed to raise them well and with good critical thinking skills, which is a huge feat in itself.

  If you think apologizing would make you feel better, do it, but I doubt it's something they expect from you - just based on my personal experience.

  Best,

  TRL